HAPPY BIRTHDAY THIVIYA!

and so we celebrated Thiviya's birthday today.
Everyone kinda have a theme or a dress code today aye?
Even our Lab teacher wore purple also, which Anira, Yanti and i were wearing too.
Lynna and Thiviya were wearing floral dresses.
There were who wore jeans!

Had nice mousse for her birthdays.
We've had enough of cakes, haha!

we were taking pictures and Wen Yang who usually does not want to take pictures, much more take pictures with us suddenly asked "Eh, let's take picture with last sem's group eh."

HAHAHA! want to take picture with us, say lah!
WE ARE MORE THAN HAPPY!

Yumm.
Everyone enjoyin the mousse!

Wen Yang!

and eh! My hair from behind looks like it is not black anymore. The highlights are back.
SHOULD I HIGHLIGHT MY HAIR?

black is so boring.

Yanti & Lynna!

I kinda woke up at 6am and then drifted back to sleep. Managed to get out of the house on time, but decided to take a cab again -.-" It's health assessment lab again!

Lynna and Thivya left school after lunch and Psychology was still as interesting as ever. But after lecture, i got too tired and sleepy and i wanted to stay and sleep. We have an hour break before the next class which was a tutorial. Decided to give it a miss and go off to a mall and buy something presentable to wear before meeting Kaiying & Gabriel.

But i was feeling too tired and got Theory test and practical assessment next week, i'll be too tired to do anything tonight by then.

I told Kaiying so last minute that i won't meeting them. Supppppeeeerr guilty okay!

But at least i had a nice good sleep after i came home.

__________________________________________________________________


I had much on my mind today.
and my BB came in handy when i want to jot down my thoughts.
Love my phone ok!


also, i had a great talk with a few friends today.
It's always nice to talk to friends whom you can share your thoughts easily with. Made me feel and think better :]

I got so much more i wanna talk about here.
but it's 3am now, and i as the insomniac have to sleep for there's school!

I HAVE TO BLOG!
although i've been trying to stop myself from touching the laptop.
I have not done the stuff on my Things-To-Do-List!

because..

I AM SO SO SO HAPPY!

I just can't help but smile to myself and just be so happy!


not because i just bought a new phone- Blackberry Curve!
not because i went shopping and bought a lot of stuff!
not because i accomplished a lot of tasks today!


It is..



Because i have gotten the news that i am not selected to be in the Ex-Cos!

My first reaction was that i was surprised that i have gotten an email from them in my Gmail. Then i opened it, and feelings of happiness and relief overcame me! Muahahahahaha!

Though a part of me feels disappointed that i did not get selected and that others did, it's mostly because i am concerned of what the 15th Excos think during my interview. and what they thought of me all this while organising Child's Play. Everyone must have thought that i am a negative, boring, killjoy and not at all SPONTANEOUS and sensitive stressed up person.


Well, partly true. Especially the sensitive part. Who wouldn't when you are stressed out?!


I was not myself during all this while.
and somehow, i just feel more stressed out towards certain people.


i asked a friend, that i wondered why am i so happy.
I don't feel burdened anymore, and i feel a sense of relief.

i was not after any position or was aiming to be part of the Exco. That's why it was an utter surprise that i've to go for the interview.

and my studies have been not so good.
it's time to pore into the books and study!


WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

Wow, six weeks had flew by!
That fast.

and last Tuesday, i found myself staring at my Biology paper which stared back at me, looking like a foreign object.

AAHHH!
needless to say, i think i'm not gonna do as well as Semester One.

Everyone in class in ranting on the amount of schoolwork we are being flooded with. It dawned on me later on, like after Wednesday of the amount of work we REALLY ARE to do!

Presentations, ICAs, practicals.
Eee, i hate practicals!


Oh, the life of a student!

Let's build a time machine and go back to holidays!
MY HOLIDAY was way better! My holiday when i had no school for 6 months when everyone was in school. Life was so lazy, and slow. Just days of staying at home and having so much sleep that i want. But i felt my life was on standstill then and wished for busier times. (i shouldn't have complained, hah!)

We all live in a beautiful world but life keeps us too busy to appreciate it.

sleep, is what i need.
I have been friggin getting 3-4 hours of sleep!

25th November.
The day i have been waiting for, anticipating and looking forward to be over.

SO LIKE, FINALLY!
I AM SO HAPPY!!!

I am of mixed emotions after Child's Play ended today.
Elated, proud, disappointed and relieved (RELIEVED, IT'S OVER!)


I get feedback, with some saying "Congratulations! your event had been a success!" or, "Well DONE! We enjoyed ourselves!" or "Child's Play had been a smashing success!"

It feels so good to hear and feels weird at the same time.
Feels weird because i am somehow not convinced otherwise.

But..

it feels good that at the end of the day, i see the Children with smiles on their faces, enjoying their candyfloss with glee, recieving their toys with happy faces.

it feels good that at the end of the day, everyone who helped out, be it the volunteers for facils, games stations and the committee enjoyed themselves.

it feels good that at the end of the day, everyone in the committee worked together. and i get to give them a hug, :D

it feels good that at the end of the day, it is all over!

after all these while, the past few months of effort for this external event, i had made myself stressed out, shed many tears, been sleep deprived, had bad temper,been too busy to eat proper meals and been running off during breaks to get this and that done.

I never thought, that i would go this far.
Upon being given the role, i had wanted to backed out and not take up the responsibility.I dismissed the thoughts away, not wanting to embarrass myself and be known as someone who backed off from her responsibilities.

Many at a time, i wonder to myself "Why am i putting so much effort and time into this? What's all this for?I don't even get to benefit from doing all this!". I would cry, with despair that i have been lousy in managing and getting this and that done. I shed tears, when i was so stressed that we were running out of time.

I don't know what drives me, to continue all the way. From the beginning, i had told Elyn & Mardiana that i would be leaving them to responsibilities and go Missing-in-Action. Which didn't happen of course lah.

That's why i was so happy when the Proposal got approved, after the 1st proposal got rejected. and i got annoyed when Wen Yang said "What for so happy? Approved only mah. Still got execution of the proposal"

Tsk tsk, killjoy lah!

and and, all this while, especially before the proposal got approved, i got temperamental. and my emotions are like rollercoaster. Very high one moment, then after that very angry.

Oh well!

It's over now.
and everything would not have been possible if not for everyone!

and i wanna say a BIG THANK YOU too everyone in the committee, especially to Elyn, Wani
and Nas! Wouldn't have known what to do if not for them!

I AM HAPPY!

I feel down.
Where did my confidence in myself go to?

And i don't like the fact that i'm not myself anymore.
I hate the fact that i don't laugh as loud and heartily like i did before.
I hate the fact that i'm always so scared of how people think of me and being judged.
I hate the fact that i worry all the time.
I hate the fact that i've commented on that i'm so negative when i wasn't before.
I hate the fact that i don't think carefully first.

:(

I don't dare do any action, lest i make more mistakes?


Am i too hard on myself?
I guess i've been thinking too much lately.

I'm having doubts.
I am having doubts if everything will run out smoothly, as planned.

I keep wondering where have we gone wrong?
Where have i gone wrong?

- Not enough thorough planning done?
- I'm a greenhorn in this?
- I have not been allocating tasks?


and, i think everyone now thinks of me as a sensitive, incompetent person.
:(




I wonder why.
Why am i a different person to different groups of people.
With my friends, i am just.. myself.
Loud and confident.
Confident.
and when i am confident, i could do my best.



But when i'm around certain people, i tend to be less confident.


and yes, my close friends would know me best.
That when i am unhappy, angry or is bothered with someone, I would keep it to myself and not confront that person.
Till i can't take it anymore.


Yes, i haven't gotten rid of this weakness of mine.

Crazy October and November.

Crazy spendings. Crazy hours of sleep. Broke. Taxi. A wedding. Parents away. The Proposal approved. Spoilt Ipod. Horrendous overstressed hypersensitive eye. ICAs. Moodswings.

Stress.


I'd like to explain and elaborate more.
Time does not allow me to.

I think i don't like what's happening to myself.

I have been on rollercoaster ride.
My mood is like a rollercoaster and unpredictable at that too.

I think at times, i felt like i was bursting.

all i have think,
IT'LL BE OVER SOON!


omgz,
someone help me get Beth's testimonial from school!

I need to chill!
I HAVEN'T BOUGHT MY DRESS!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


i think i have to stick to my purple dress ?
=/

My head is throbbing, as i am typing now :(

But i am happy!
Because i have been a good girl today!
I went home right away from Church while everyone else went for lunch.
Ahh, perfect day to have nice afternoon nap!

and i have been a good girl because i have done my homework over the weekend!
Happy lah!
To make up for sleeping in lectures last week, teehees!

and oh!
I have not elaborate on how my first week of Sem 2 had been, except for me saying i've been busy!


As it was, i was dreading the coming of Semester 2. I was not prepared lah! and so happy to see everyone else again! and i must say Lynna changed for the better! Now she's the one nudging me to wake up in lectures! So cute of her, hehe!

and we have new groupings now :(
But oh wells!
We're still gonna work together!

I haven't went over to see the engineering people.Haven't met up with them in ages! and i hope Hafiz's eye is better now!

_____________________________________________________________

The week have just barely started, and i'm looking forward to Friday already!

It'll be Kuya Alvin & Ate Lenny's Wedding!
and i'm gonna be the receptionist :D

omg, I HAVEN'T BOUGHT A NEW DRESS!!!!!
this is an emergency!
*screams*

and it'll be halloween this coming Saturday.
Spookeh!

which aso means November is coming.
and also means, November will be over soon.

I SO CAN'T WAIT FOR NOVEMBER TO BE OVER!

I am so busy, like a busy bee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was feeling negative and no confidence for the whole thingy.
But today, after a setback, i am happy that i am more confident after the new idea to the whole plan.

Coolz or whutz!!

Busy,

Bad thing: I am losing sleep over the proposal, sleeping at unearthly hours and having classes at 9am. Which sucks because i have a sucky timetable. Sucks also, because i end up sleeping in lectures, and sometimes during lab lessons also. Eeks!

and my health. my brother said i will die earlier because i keep sleeping late. Booooo! Which is true actually. Studies has shown. AHH!


2nd bad thing, i gave up the job of doing the transcriptions. Goodbye $200 :( :(


Good thing?
i think i am gonna lose weight. during attachment, i ate only lunch and dinner. No rice too. And now school new semester just begun, and i've not been eating well.

So, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~


sorry if i havent been in touch or replying messages.
i'm tied up!

Suddenly.. It dawned on me that's it a Friday!
But i am not at all smiles and go TGIF! today!


Because firstly, school is in a few days time.
Secondly, i have a pile of stuff not done yet.
Stuff undone:

1. Amendments to the proposal!
2. The transcripts for group 1!
3. The report!
4. The roaming photographer thingy!
5. Buy present for Genesis
6. Re-bond hair
7. Buy stationary for school

I am in deep shiat. Most of them are due by next week. I am running out of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I only started doing the transcripts late last night at around 2am. and i am still at 1/8 of the conversation yet!


and last night i stayed up with Kaiying, she was staying up for her tests. Had wanted to stay up all night and not sleep but have a long day ahead. So we slept at 5am instead!

Been a long time too since we stayed up together late into the night. and my my, it was weird listening to a record of your own voice. and i had to play it over and over again to catch what was being said.

Perfect night, perfect music and perfect milk tea :D

and today is the first time, in how many 4 weeks that i stay at home till in the late afternoon!

well, supposed to go Sentosa with Siew Yi, Melissa and Beverley. But got so much to do.
:(

and i am EXCITED for Genesis debut party! Uber cool! At my age, it'll be my first time to attend a debut! Gonna go with my brother and sister, Junaidi, Asyraf and Marianie since we all know one another!

Small world, small world.

Gonna meet Zipporah Ann too, whom i've always chat online when we were still Secondary one and never really met each other yet!

Genesis' 18th!

Debut! Debut! Debut!

Me: "Ah Gong, You very funny eh!"
Patient: (In a very loud and angry voice) "Ahh? I no money lah!"

Like, really. The patients can get really funny and cute. Like for the past few days, i could not help but laugh out loud! It's sad i have one more day left with them. Especially the funny Ah Gong! and the cute Grandma! but my favourite Datuk also got discharged already! Aiya, they're all cute! I'm considering going into Gerontology next time :O


Back to Afternoon shift today after being on morning shifts since last Friday. Off with waking up at 4.30am and running after my dad who walks very fast to catch the bus.

Today, i took a taxi to the Hospital. Ewww, the taxi driver was weird. Reminds me of Dino. Why do i seem to.. attract the wrong attention from older men?!?! Eww @&#$

Today was my presentation of my Case Study with Hassan. CASE STUDY OVER AND DONE WITH! We presented on the funny Ah Gong! Quite interesting case la.
Over and done with!


You know, i should not be here writing this at 1.54am. I should sleep well for my last day of attachment :( :( :( :( :( :(

TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY.

I AM :( BUT ALSO :D

EXHUASTION.

I AM EXHAUSTED!




I need a rest.

A simple day to which i can wake up late to a cooling

weather after a long sleep.



Yep, that is what i would need.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEILING!
&

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!


__________________________________________________



Omgz!
After being on afternoon shift for 7 days, i am finally on.. Morning shift tomorrow. Well,
I don't like morning shifts because i dislike waking up early. As i am typing this now, it is 11.56am and i have plans to wake up at 4.40am. But i am not sleepy and i am hungry too.

I am so gonna have a freaking heart attack if i will be late.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR 9TH OF OCTOBER TO COME!
8 MORE DAYS LEFT TILL ATTACHMENT ENDS!

I need to get a life and have a great time with people!

(I wore pants today and i felt like.. totally weird with it. It's like a pyjama, like a hip hop pyjama.)


I should be sleeping now.
Goodnightz.

grannies & grandpas can be real cute & amusing you know.
:)


But, after a week of being in the same cubicle, i have been assigned to a different cubicle. I am =(
Not because my current cubicle has more to do. But i would miss my patients. One of them said "Aiyo, when you go, i have no friend already.."

___________________________________________________

I should be sleeping now.
I'm so tired, my eye is tearing.


I thought i can finally have a whole day to rest and to just to laze at home this Saturday. I was wrong! Eeks! Going to school for the SINDA Excellence. A month ago, i thought it would be nice to do some duty during the 3 weeks of attachment.

I am shaggedz.

9th October coming soon!
and 10th October, what do i do? I have Work Assignment / Out with new found friends / Chalet with CLS people and the next day would be Wedding & Work Assignment.

and that last week of holiday before school starts, i have it all planned out!
GO OUT WITH PEOPLE!
I MISS MY FRIENDS!

I feel disconnected with the outside world of my friends. I'm too lazy/tired to reply sms-es or to return missed calls. and of course, i'm too tired to do the proposal!

Why are you still in my dreams?

I finally got myself to do what is needed.
I feel accomplished!


and the weekends have been over SO FAST!
i repeat, SO FAST!

I wish the weekends could have been longer.
It's gonna be a week of attachment again!
This coming Thursday and Friday will be morning shift :(
But tomorrow will be afternoon shift, which i prefer to morning shift.

HELLO TO ACHEY ACHEY FEET, HELLO PATIENTS AND HELLO TO THE BUSY, CRUEL WORLD OF BEING AN INVINCIBLE LOST STUDENT NURSE.

Hello Kidney!
and so the picture says it. My ward kinda specializes in renal cases and sowhathaveyou.


i want to say..


the past two days have been G R E A T!
and so i conclude,
I very very much enjoy my attachment!


Well of course, minus the negativities like being treated invisible, being looked down upon doctors/staff nurses, doing things that i would never do before and all.

but!
I feel a sense of satisfaction. Although it has been what, a few days only and i feel a bond with the patients i have been taking care of. Some are mean, some are funny, some are cute, some are pitiful. While some are really in need of care.

It feels so good to hear the patients say 'Thank you' to you though they are weak when they said it and it sounds so sincere. It feels good to see them smile at you with appreciation. It feels good they trust you to care for them. It feels good that i am building rapport with them.

________________________________________________


On Wednesday i was on morning shift. and i was shagged like shitz. The next two days which was Thursday and today, Friday, i was on afternoon shift. Did i mention that i love afternoon shifts?
I get to wake up late, get to reach on time, the workload is manageable comparable to in the morning and lastly, it is so cooling to go home at night!

and OMG!
THERE ARE HANDSOME AND HOT DOCTORS!
yes, handsome!
but i would like to smack the files on their faces one day. They're kinda proud and haughty.
Doctor so what? I am a nurse!


________________________________________________


Building rapport.

'I think I felt a tinge of "nurse-ness" in me today. It really is quite fulfilling to see the patients under your care being discharged, albeit a little sad because you have already developed a bond with them.'

Jeanette

I agree with her. I feel sad that i might not be able to see the patients again after the weekend because they might be discharged already. But on the other hand, i feel happy for them that they can be discharged already. I'm gonna miss them.

"Are you an Arab?"

That was the question of the day for me today! I laughed of course as my reply! Many are confused to what is my race. Most of them concluded i am Malay, while some thinks i am Chinese. The very out of the blue question was if i am an Arab. HAHAHA!

ANYWAY!

I had a great day!
If you want to imagine how my face look likes now, it would be like this --> :D

I had such a great day, that i went home with all smiles on my face just thinking of the day's events in my head. With great music and a cup of really Iced lemon tea too!

No, sleep has not eluded me yet.


As i lay on my back, i think of the day's events. and my coming days ahead. Especially on Tuesday. and then i feel a sudden sense of panic and i worry.

A T T A C H M E N T
yes, i am dreading it.
because i am so not ready for it physically and mentally!
(Though i had planned weeks ago on how i should be prepared for attachment!)

• i have not personalised that green booklet we were given. Is it called 'the student's handbook'? Omg!
• i have not bough shoes, oh shooooes!
• i have forgotten the 7 steps of the hand hygiene. If i should get the contagious disease, you know why. I'm kidding.
• hair issues! my hair is being pretty sucky you know. i need a good hairnet and some rubberband to tame the wild hair of mine.
• i have not read through our lecture notes yet!

I AM GOING TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK!