I had mentioned to my friends that i will not use or go online with my laptop this weekend so i can focus for HA. and two weeks ago, i closed down my blog earlier than i usually do when exams are here.

But i don't give a damn anymore, i need my writing pad, back!
Well, i used to have diaries back then..

and i have a private blog, and two other blogs.

The old blogger still works out best for me.


So how's life so far?
It's the dead middle of the night and i need to get my thoughts and feelings sorted out.

I thought i could forget the hatred, and use love.
And the wounds, the pain have been re-opened.

I think of you as a beast as of this very moment.
I know i'm sinning against the Lord for this, but i can't help it but i hate you from the very bottom of my heart.

I wish there was someone whom i could talk to.
My aunt's not here anymore with us.
When i tried to call my another favourite aunt, Aunt Liberty, she somehow seemed unreluctant to talk to me on the phone. Maybe fearing that we'll be found out that we've been communicating?

My grandpa's getting weak. He fell and i hope he's alright now. My aunt Jane, had met with a car accident and was brought into the emergency room. Her car was totally wrecked, but heard that she did not suffer any serious injuries.

Oh, Thank God for their safety and health.
But i pray they are on their road to recovery.



My headache is driving me crazy.
It's been the whole day already.



I pray for a better day ahead tomorrow.

What a tough week i had.

I had so much thoughts to put into words, but now i am at a loss at words here.
In short, it left me emotionally drained.

I had foreseen this week to be a killer week with 4 3 assessments this week.
Of which, one killed me.
Heh.

But i did not foresee that i would be distracted with unnecessary circumstances that would affect me.

They said to me, "Don't take it to heart what he says or do. Cry it all out if you must, but don't keep the hatred in."

"Why not make the first move and close the gap, by embracing him with love?"

Damn, there has been so much pain, i felt my heart was gonna burst. There were moments when i felt so much anger, so much hatred.

I tried.
Well, i think i did try and not hate him.

But the gap between us as a father and daughter have been too far apart.

and i think, it won't be easy.

EAT, SLEEP AND DRINK BIOLOGY!!!!

It's skills assessment & practical test on monday.
Talk about monday blues.

Picture Credits

"Remember this: no one is looking at your imperfections; they're all too busy worrying about their own." - Isaac Mizrahi."

Got this from Anelie's.

It sucks to have this feeling.
Eww, go away you badassfeelingsforyourownself!

The first time round, i told myself to pucker up.
Pull my socks up, and just got to move one and do better.


But now why must this happen and hinder my determination?!

When it is such a turbulent and bad time for me now?
Everything came crashing down, and i got vulnerably hurt.


and this week is a killer week.


i am :(

I am so filled with hatred for you, i feel like i am going to burst.

I have henoch schonlein purpura now.
AFTER NOT SEEING IT ON MY LEGS FOR SO SO LONG.

I'm not so stressed compared to last year.
Or am i in denial that i am stressed?!

My immune system low?
i've been a good girl and have been taking my vitamins daily now!

So go away red and bright ugly rashes from my legs, or i'd have to wear jeans all this time!

It is a nice Sunday afternoon but here i am, super damn pissed off.
and hungry.

Why?

Number one.
Last year, Bethany had sent a nice package or a small box of sweets, chewing gum with a nice card/note wich she always had nicely written and done. and she asked me to help her collect her Testimonial on her behalf. Which i did, took from Queenstown recently.

My point is, THAT SMALL BOX IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND! Why?! My dad had thrown it from away thinking there is nothing in that box. I don't know why the hell the "househusband" went to clean my room and threw it away. My mom, the real housewife don't even mess with my stuff!

This was how the conversation went:

Me: Have you seen the box that Bethany had sent me?
Dad: What box?
Me: You know, that small box with the sweets and some papers inside?
Dad: (Looking guilty and stares blankly) Oh, that. I think i threw it away already.

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Number two.
*Deleted!*

I am in such a foul mood now.
ROAR!

BLUE


IS MY

COLOUR OF THE YEAR!

It always come to my mind subconsciously, cos i'll unkowingly use the same colours for the same things.

Like in 2008, my colour of the year was yellow.

In 2009, it was purple. Though i tell everyone it is yellow.
I had a purple bag, purple pencil box, purple pens..

so,

It's BLUE!

:]




p.s. Prawny's so sweet.
<3

Hello,

I've had a good day but, now,

I am feeling
worried for next week,
sick and tired of being fat,
ambitious,
and sad.

I just want so much.
The want to attain and achieve.

Director's list, NYAA Gold, a great 21st birthday party, to learn a new musical instrument, to be in the _______ next year, have a studio photo shoot at my own expense,to read more books/novels, to keep in touch with both paternal & maternal side, have my room renovated and well.
To lose weight.

Wtf.
I've been going on and on about losing weight.
Yeah, i know i know i keep saying that.

Well shut up cos i'm struggling with goals here.


I'm sick and tired of being fat.
I'm going to do something about it.
Hopefully i'll be able to before i turn 21.
Or i should just go melt away with my fats.

Wants & Needs.

They're so much of them.

I have titled my blog, Of the ordinary & the extraordinary. Sounds enticing aye?

I have always loved reading other bloggers who have such eloquent and interesting style of writing that draws readers attention to read their blog entries. Such good english too!
Of my favourite are Raymond's Exotipication ; What Makes Good Reading (I blog hopped all the way to TP's best debater who won last 2008 interpoly debates.) ; Teawithnicole and some more whom i could not remember anymore cos time does not allow me to blog hop anymore.

I had admired and wanted to write like them.
It orientates you to the bloggers thoughts and it's like you know them personally though you really don't.

Cool, i think.

ANYWAY!

I wonder how am i gonna survive next week.
It's bad enough that i have been demoralized and dismayed with last Tuesday's battle.
I've lost.
FFFFUUUUUUUUUU!

SO HOW?!

Next week is a killer week with 4 bloody test and ASSessments.
Let me explain:

1. Tue: CCS's E-ASSsment.
2. Wed: Skills ASSsment of Wound Dressing.
3. Thurs: Health ASSessment (KILLER I TELL YOU!).
4. Thurs: Psychology Presentation.

May not sound a lot to you.

BUT IT IS TO ME!

Such ASSess.

HAHAHAHA!

Oh, i so hope i could survive this battle.

I don't want to lose anymore.

I'm in enough trouble already!

Hello 2010!

After today, i will make sure:

• I will be in bed, sleeping by 12am. and get at least 6 hours of sleep a day!
  

• No more late night using of my laptop on school days.

• See to it that i will not be marked absent for lectures AND to remember to bring my student card so i won't be marked absent again -.-"
  

• That i will get an A for all my presentations and a B for the skills/lab assessments. (I dislike doing skills assessment!)

• No more taxis to school.

I WILL, MUST DO THIS!
WATCH OUT FOR THE CHANGE!

er no, this is not my new year's resolutions list.
my list is up high on my wall.
:]