Of the ordinary & the extraordinary.

How time flies.
and how the events unfold quickly, unexpectedly and unsought after.

I am back, from a crazy, tough and emotional week. I can say, it has been a thunderstorm and i would label this week as the worst week of my 2009. a week ago, i had wished for a great week to enjoy my holidays. i guess i had a hell of a week instead.

It had been a mess of emotions raging inside of me. I did not know what to do, helpless and i felt alone. There were moments when i felt so much anger, so much hatred. and there had been moments that i felt so much in denial on why this is happening to me and leaving me wondering "Why everyone else could be happy but us? " and there too, had been moments when i felt so so scared, i felt so alone.

Damn, there has been so much pain, i felt my heart was gonna burst. and i can't believe i had even think about it, about being so like there's no way out but just to die. Shoo away those thoughts.

for now, the future ahead seems dark and uncertain. my future is threatened. What if everything i have, my life here, my friends, my studies will be taken away and be back to a life which i had long forgotten?

Would you say goodbye to me, and remember me still?


I wish i could easily open up. and have someone who understands and lends a listening ear. Oh wells.